If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
