Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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