Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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