remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
