So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
