it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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