u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
