i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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