508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
