we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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