so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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