I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
