So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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