my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The best revenge is premature balding
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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