You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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