xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize