There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
