I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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