I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
