well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
