We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
