just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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