Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
