i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
