In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i've created a new STD.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
