It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
