I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
