I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
