Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
