The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
