Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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