Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize