Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I would fuck him just for his dog
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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