Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
