Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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