it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
