i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
