I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
