I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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