$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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