worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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