The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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