I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
