Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You can't just leave with hair like that
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
