Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
