i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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