I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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