You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
