i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
