he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
