Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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