Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
and she was petting her beer can
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
two words...techno handjob
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Randomize
