Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
