She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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