This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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