if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Alive.
So much puke
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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