I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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