I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
