Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
