doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
