Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
